Toddler Talk

Have you ever had a conversation with a two-year old? If you haven't, I highly recommend you find the nearest one you can and strike up a conversation, immediately. Because it. is. awesome.

Brigid, man...she has all of these thoughts and ideas and opinions. And she can articulate them now, which just amazes me beyond all else. I mean, I knew her when she was a little blob of baby! Where in the world did my blob go?!?! And why on earth did she leave me with this kid that's capable of talking back to me, now?!?!

She knows we think it's cute when she says ho-ye guacamo-ye, so she does it on demand. She catches it every time mommy says something that shouldn't be said, and she (obviously) repeats it the minute it's out of my mouth, evil little glint in her eye and smile on her face, included. She uses reasoning on me when I tell her I'm tired, and I need to go to bed in my own bed, with a you be all right in my bed, mommy. And I WOULD be all right in her bed, if it comes right down to it, which she knows, of course.

When I tried to put her to bed despite her thoughts that she should be allowed to stay up all hours of the night, and I told her I loved her? She responded with, what I'm assuming is the first of many, given how rotten I was as a teenaged girl, a me no yove you. Which would have been heartbreaking, if it hadn't been coming from the funny little mouth of a sulking toddler.

I swear, EVERYTHING is funnier coming out of the mouth of a sulking toddler.

She's told me she needs to go potty, better hurry mommy!, while going potty down her leg. She's also told me she needs to go potty just to score a jelly bean for her efforts. She mispronounces chalk in a way that makes me giggle EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE SAYS IT, because I am more 12 year old boy than 32 year old woman on most days. She gets really excited when I open the cheese drawer in the refrigerator, because daddy buy me white cheese!, never mind the fact that we only have string cheese in the house because I demanded a trip to Costco last week to replenish the poor child's cheese stock.

But, you know...whatever, Brigid.

Beyond that, and obvious daddy bias aside, I genuinely enjoy talking to that kid. She is smart and funny and just generally entertaining as hell, and I am luckier than any one person has a right to be that I get to go home to her everyday.

Whether she thinks she yoves me right now, or not...