Remember to Remember

There is this episode of The Office, when Jim and Pam finally get married, where the two of them decide they will celebrate the weekend by taking mental pictures of every moment of the event they want to remember forever. It's awkward, it's sweet, it's totally fitting for those two characters, and it has absolutely stuck with me over the years, as I've watched my girls start to grow up. I find myself rocking Caitlin to sleep, thinking, 'This. This feeling right here is what I want to remember about my baby forever.' 

The thing is, I know I had these moments with Brigid, too. And I know that the only reason I can remember the feelings I had when I was holding her at any one point in time is because I wrote them down somewhere. This space, right  here? It is my photo album full of mental pictures. And so...

Things I never want to forget about Caitlin at nine months:

* the way she rests her hand on my chest or cheek, or even grips my shirt collar, when I'm rocking her to sleep.

* the way her face lights up when someone she loves walks into the room (I've often said nobody else in this world will ever get as excited to hear my voice as she does...)

* the way her face crumples when you tell her no, only to turn into the world's biggest smile when you pick her up to comfort her while she cries.

* the way she reaches for me when I go to pick her up from wherever she might be sitting.

* the way she follows me around the room with her eyes when she's waiting for me to come talk to her after I get home from work.

* the way she curls up into a little ball on her side, when I put her to sleep in her crib.

* the way she leans herself out of my arms, to snuggle with Brigid when we pick B up from school.

* the way she smiles and drops her head in shyness, or looks to Steve and I for approval, when a stranger talks to her while we're out running errands.

My sweet, adorable, manipulative little turd. She really is the best...