Caitlin's First Birthday

Caitlin turned one year old last Friday.

I don't even know how that happened. How in the world can it be possible that my sweet little peanut of a baby has been with us for a year now? It seems like just yesterday that I was telling Steve to put the hot dog back in the fridge, because even if I was momentarily frozen in pain from a contraction, my need to get to the hospital was a little deeper than his need to grab some dinner on the way out the door.

(Poor guy...he is NEVER going to live that one down, I swear.)

And yet, here we are. From this...

...to this...

...in twelve short months.

My rough-housing, trouble-making, general stinker of a baby is kind of closing in on that non-baby status that I think I'm just going to completely ignore this time around.

She shows no inclination to walk, which is actually a good thing for her, because the way she throws herself around and into things anyway, she doesn't need any added height to her falls. The four bruises on her forehead at this particular moment stand in testament to that, so I am perfectly content to stick with the crawling for right now. Even if that crawling tends to be in the direction of the dogs' food and water bowls the minute she can make a break for it, we'll deal with it. It has to be better than a bleeding baby, you know? We'll make it work.

She throws herself out of my arms if Brigid makes an appearance in the room, trying like crazy to get to her sister, because big sisters are just the greatest thing, ever. Let's just hope she still feels that way when she's old enough to look back at pictures of the respective first birthday parties that we threw the girls, because Brigid's Sesame Street themed birthday party, complete with hats and decorations and a detailed Elmo cake AND awesome Cookie Monster cupcakes on the side completely blew away Caitlin's 'hey, we're making a pineapple upside down cake for Thanksgiving, let's just stick a candle in it and call it a day' themed birthday party.

I mean, not that she minded, because sugar is sugar, but...still. I feel bad about it.

(I SWEAR the birthday dud was not because Caitlin is the 2nd child. Honestly. It's just...we're moving. And we were supposed to be settled by now, but we're not. And I couldn't begin to tell you what box holds Steve's Elmo cake pan. So. Pineapple upside down cake, from a bowl, on the floor. It is what it is...)

Caitlin is just special. Her dimpled smile, her excitement at seeing someone she loves walk into the room, the way she looks back to me or Steve for approval when she sees something that makes her happy or sad or nervous, the way she tries to kiss her distorted image in the front facing of the dishwasher, but refuses to give me kisses when I ask for them...she is a rotten little stinkbug, but she just fills my heart with happiness, every day.

She is such a happy baby, except when she's not. Then she is the ANGRIEST baby I have ever seen. It would be impressive, if that anger weren't directed at me at 2AM, when I've been trying to get her back to sleep for two hours already, and OMG BABY, JUST GO TO SLEEP ALREADY.

This is...new...for us. I mean, I don't want to compare babies or anything, but someone whose name starts with a 'B' and ends with a 'rigid' was the magical sleeping baby, and while Caitlin isn't the worst sleeper out there, nobody would consider her a 'good' sleeper, unless THEY had the worst sleeper out there.

And yet, sometimes, when the house is quiet in the middle of the night, and she's asleep in my arms, there are no words to describe how happy I am. I love this baby with all of my heart.

(Other times, when the house is quiet in the middle of the night, and she is screaming while I try to rock her back to sleep, I am not so happy. But you take the good with the bad. Or some such something like that...)

She is going to be the toddler that pulls the Christmas tree over on top of herself, or breaks my favorite vase, or, if we weren't trying to move to a different house, throws herself off of the 2nd floor catwalk onto the couch below. She will be the one that causes me all of the physical, dare-devil, bull-in-a-china shop kind of problems, with Brigid handling the sassypants attitude, too-smart-for-her-own-good side of things.

I should be worried about what's in store for me with these two. And, hooooooo buddy, I am. But also? I kind of can't wait. There's not a dull moment in store for me anytime in the near future.

Happy birthday, sweet pea. Thank you for being part of my life. I couldn't imagine having things any other way...