Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween Do's and Don't's

Don't buy your child a costume with a wig. You will end up with reactions like this:
Do promise your child that if she stands up for 'just one minute, please just let me get one picture of you in your full costume, and seriously, would it kill you to smile for just a split second, for the love of all that is good, I will give you candy if you cooperate...', because it works:
Do go to your neighborhood Halloween party, eat your share of registration fee pizza (or, more than your fair share of registration fee pizza, Mr. 'Maybe Next Time Skip The Three Foot High Pile Of Pizza On A Plate, And Just Grab The Box, Already'), and take advantage of the free face painting.
DON'T engage the guy drinking out of a flask while waiting for his turn in the face painting line, who keeps asking you if you're going to get your baby belly painted while you're there.

Don't let your daughter pick her own Halloween candy out of the bucket when she's offered the choice, as she has an unnatural affinity for Dum Dums, and you will miss out on the fun-sized Snickers.

Do con your neighbors into offering your daughter a second piece of candy, after she chooses a Dum Dum as her first choice. Note: This is easier to do when you are pregnant and on good terms with your neighbors. Nobody is going to deny giving chocolate to the pregnant woman whose husband made you a pie.

Do enjoy the hell out of taking your kid trick-or-treating. Nothing is better than hearing her yell with delight as she comes back down the driveway, 'I got MORE candy!' or 'Mommy! They gave me TWO pieces of candy there!'. Or watching her try her trick-or-treat charms on an adult who is holding their own child's candy bucket, because adult + candy bucket = free candy for Brigid, even if that adult is standing in the middle of the street, apparently.

And finally (and completely related to that last one), DO have the 'don't take candy from strangers, except on Halloween' conversation with your daughter, because SOMEONE (named Brigid) got WAY too comfortable, WAY too quickly with holiday sanctioned begging, and now SOMEONE (named me) needs to make sure this isn't something that carries over into real life.

Happy Halloween, indeed...


  1. That long wig is hilarious!! I love that you had to bribe her with candy to wear it!! No says no to a pregnant lady when she wants chocolate so you might as well take advantage of it.

  2. Jacob told everyone his name, all night long. I am not so sure that he understands stranger danger anymore!


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