Hey! I'm still pregnant! And I'm still ridiculously uncomfortable! And I'm still generating gasps and giggles from people who haven't seen me pregnant before and don't know to expect that I will be extremely large when this whole process is over.
And don't remember that they report to me and that I am responsible for their annual reviews, OBVIOUSLY.
(Moral of the story? Don't laugh at your largely pregnant boss, mkay? Pregnancy hormones are not your friend.)
And do you know who else needs to watch herself around me right now? That almost three-year old living in my house and keeping me awake all night with her fevers and croup and no sleeping and steroid fueled rages against the injustices of being handed milk that SHE ASKED FOR 30 SECONDS EARLIER.
Oh, I'm sorry. Have I not mentioned this new development?
Brigid had a fever last weekend, which I did mention. But right about the time that fever broke, and we thought things would be getting back to normal, she developed a cough. And she coughed herself physically ill one night during bedtime. Then she woke up, and nearly coughed herself sick again that night. THEN she woke at 6AM, struggling to breathe through all of that coughing. And that, right there? It freaked me the hell out.
(Also, it should be noted, she'd woken me up at 4:45AM the day before, then didn't go to sleep that previous night, and woke me up again at 1:30. And I'm pregnant. Pregnant and sleep-deprived people are not rational people. So, please do not judge me when I admit that I thought she had whooping cough. Because...I did.)
Steve had to be in Charlotte that day, so he left around 7AM. I had Brigid to the doctor at 8:45AM, and she displayed absolutely no symptoms of having anything wrong with her (because kids are sneaky like that) until the doctor pulled out the tongue depressor, at which point I had to physically restrain my daughter while she started coughing and wheezing again.
And the doctor, without hesitation, diagnosed croup. And put my kid on a small amount of steroids to reduce the airway inflammation so she could breathe. And warned me that the medicine might make my kid just a little more irritable than normal.
And here is where I tell you that that night? When Steve wouldn't be home from Charlotte until close to 10PM?
That was the night when Brigid decided around 5:30PM that she NEEDED TO SEE HER DADDY RIGHT THEN AND HER MOTHER WAS THE WORST OF ALL EVIL AND GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PSYCHO WOMAN HOW DARE YOU ASK ME WHAT KIND OF SNACK I WANT WHEN I ASK FOR A SNACK READ MY MIND AND BRING IT TO ME RIGHT NOW.
At one point, I called Steve, and without saying anything, held out the phone so he could properly hear Brigid screaming for him at the top of her lungs. He mentioned he might decide to stay overnight somewhere between Charlotte and Atlanta, after that call. Not that I would have blamed him...
I also took a small, thirty second video of my dear, sweet girl rolling around on the bathroom floor after her bath, screaming baby obscenities at me because I had the audacity to get her out of the bathtub when the bath was over, so he would have an even better idea of how awesome our evening had been. Because I am a giver like that. And you'd better believe I would post that here in a heartbeat...
...except that she was nekkid as a jay-bird in that video. And I do have some lines that I don't cross.
But it was pleasant.
Finally, last night, Brigid was asleep by 8PM. Today, Brigid woke up at a normal time. And she seemed fine. And she went to preschool, where she cried for Steve when he left her, until they gave her a toy to play with, and she moved on. She didn't drop her night-night the entire time, except when she ate lunch. But she stayed for the full four hours. And she was just one slight cough among the sea of disgusting kid-germs that is her preschool class right now, according to the teachers.
So...I can't wait to do this all again next week, I guess.