Sleep Regression

I don't even really want to talk about this, because I think it could get so much worse in the long run, but it needs to be said...

It appears that a slight case of sleep regression  might be making its way into our lives.

(I've read this generally happens around 18-months, but of course, Brigid wants to get a head start on things. She still won't talk, at all, but the sleep problems? Those she's all over...)

I've mentioned it before, but Brigid is a relatively independent kid. When she gets sleepy, whether it's before a nap or at the end of our bedtime routine, she reaches for her crib, gives me a kiss, and says night-night over and over again until I finally give up on my attempts at cuddling and put her down to sleep. And she grins at me like a tiny little crazy person once she gets her way, before sticking her thumb in her mouth and turning her back to me.

Well, that was our old routine, anyway.

The new routine? It involves rocking and singing and back rubbing and walking and screaming and more rocking, until the poor kid exhausts herself enough to finally fall asleep. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells again, hoping that she goes to sleep when she's supposed to, hoping that she stays asleep as long as she normally does. I find myself getting frustrated sometimes, when Brigid is fighting sleep so hard, despite being so tired she can barely keep her eyes open. When I put her down half asleep, only to have her wake up screaming the minute I leave the room.

I mean, she's SO tired! Why doesn't she just SLEEP, for crying out loud?!?!

But then, I remind myself that this is what I wanted, all of those times when I tried to cuddle with Brigid, but she wanted nothing to do with me. I remind myself that time has already passed so quickly, that it will continue to do so, and before I know it she will be fourteen and snarky and any sort of cuddling with her mother will be completely off of the table.

And so, instead of feeling frustrated, I just pull her closer to me, tuck her sweet smelling baby head under my chin, and sing her another song, rock her just a little bit longer. Because there is only one place I need to be at that moment.

And I am there.